Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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