It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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