You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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