I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
