I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize