Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
