dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
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I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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