it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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