This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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