I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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