So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
