I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize