no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize