Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
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Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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