can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
