DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
