Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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