Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
