wake up i wanna do it froggy style
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
