I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
