I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
