Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
