One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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