There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
