Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
