How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
