You really coming over, don't trick.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
