He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize