no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
