I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
