my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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