Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she pinky promised me she was 18
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
