Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
it hurts more in the daytime
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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