I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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