Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
