I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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