I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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