the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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