Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me

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(513): View more from Ohio

The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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(512): View more from Texas

you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(218): View more from Minnesota

Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.

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(425): View more from Washington

If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

there are ass prints on the hood of my car.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.

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(760): View more from California

We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had

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