Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn? http://tfl.nu/yhjz

Replies (16) Good night (5639) Bad night (736)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life. http://tfl.nu/o2zn

Replies (18) Good night (1441) Bad night (5597)
Favorite
(956): View more from Texas

Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(956): Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..." http://tfl.nu/geex

Replies (25) Good night (14486) Bad night (1282)
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"? http://tfl.nu/9ial

Replies (29) Good night (987) Bad night (2904)
Favorite
(905): View more from Ontario

If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(905): If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too. http://tfl.nu/2teh

Replies (21) Good night (1141) Bad night (4293)
Favorite
(270): View more from Kentucky

Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(270): Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz. http://tfl.nu/48gp

Replies (22) Good night (2823) Bad night (934)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well. http://tfl.nu/39wu

Replies (20) Good night (7596) Bad night (710)
Favorite
(307): View more from Wyoming

I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(307): I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street. http://tfl.nu/3ofi

Replies (3) Good night (1619) Bad night (561)
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys" http://tfl.nu/5hh5

Replies (5) Good night (568) Bad night (904)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now. http://tfl.nu/x0w2

Replies (5) Good night (1528) Bad night (862)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder! http://tfl.nu/rxkw

Replies (12) Good night (1105) Bad night (433)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell. http://tfl.nu/0dz9

Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (299)
Favorite
(61): View more from Australia

Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(61): Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive. http://tfl.nu/0qk3

Replies (5) Good night (467) Bad night (262)
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..? http://tfl.nu/l259

Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (301)
Favorite
(804): View more from Virginia

He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(804): He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day http://tfl.nu/tx1z

Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (160)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: