Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.

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  (505): My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though. http://tfl.nu/1gr0
  Replies (5) Good night (2622) Bad night (641)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.

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  (317): I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best. http://tfl.nu/9ej5
  Replies (32) Good night (2974) Bad night (3266)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."

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  (303): After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot." http://tfl.nu/jk33
  Replies (16) Good night (1768) Bad night (4840)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?

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  (314): I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university? http://tfl.nu/bxwk
  Replies (37) Good night (6350) Bad night (866)
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  (631): View more from New York

  she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.

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  (631): she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever. http://tfl.nu/9adr
  Replies (21) Good night (1139) Bad night (8632)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.

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  (416): After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me. http://tfl.nu/uotn
  Replies (13) Good night (1204) Bad night (4594)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.

  (925): View more from California

  "half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.

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  (541): mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up. (925): "half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking. http://tfl.nu/v25q
  Replies (3) Good night (2945) Bad night (966)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.

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  (727): when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test. http://tfl.nu/l54a
  Replies (6) Good night (3460) Bad night (1065)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.

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  (612): I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot. http://tfl.nu/k764
  Replies (3) Good night (1978) Bad night (572)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.

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  (303): Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night. http://tfl.nu/mrb2
  Replies (5) Good night (1721) Bad night (637)
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  (310): View more from California

  I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.

  (1-310): View more from California

  You're sick. Take pictures if you can.

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  (310): I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had. (1-310): You're sick. Take pictures if you can. http://tfl.nu/uy3u
  Replies (4) Good night (1947) Bad night (660)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets

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  (734): I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/shph
  Replies (6) Good night (1440) Bad night (539)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.

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  (501): I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual. http://tfl.nu/m5w4
  Replies (4) Good night (1048) Bad night (504)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.

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  (970): My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment. http://tfl.nu/pqim
  Replies (0) Good night (685) Bad night (276)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?

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  (440): But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg? http://tfl.nu/sfcc
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (268)

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