He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had