i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.