It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
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It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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