Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
