Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
