note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
