HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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