dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
