"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize