We're like a lot better than the average bears
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
