In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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