you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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