so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
