What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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