Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
