Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
