I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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