Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize