a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
