There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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