i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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