idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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