too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
