I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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