definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
