omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
There's even glitter on my cock...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
